Starting therapy is a vulnerable decision, and feeling safe, heard, and respected is essential to the healing process. So what happens when something doesn’t feel right in a session or when you want your therapist to adjust their approach?
Many people wonder: “Can I give my therapist feedback?”
The short answer is yes. In many cases, your therapist genuinely wants your feedback. But there are also situations where a concern may be serious enough that submitting a formal complaint is appropriate.
This guide will help you understand:
- When giving feedback can strengthen your therapeutic relationship
- What healthy feedback looks like
- When a concern may require a more formal complaint
- How to approach both pathways respectfully and confidently
Why Giving Your Therapist Feedback Is Not Only Allowed But Encouraged
Therapy is most effective when both you and your therapist collaborate openly. Feedback helps your clinician understand what’s resonating with you, what isn’t, and how to better meet your needs.
Here are some good reasons to offer feedback:
The pace or style doesn’t feel right.
Maybe things feel too fast, too slow, or too emotionally intense. Therapists can adapt their approach if they know what isn’t landing.
You want more (or less) structure.
Some clients prefer worksheets or homework, while others prefer conversation-based therapy. Maybe you find yourself spending too long on certain topics and want a clearer schedule for your session. Feedback helps tailor the process.
You didn’t feel fully understood in a session.
Misunderstandings happen. Your therapist is human too. Clearing these moments up early can prevent bigger issues later.
You feel uncomfortable discussing a certain topic.
You may not feel ready to address something or don’t want to answer a question your therapist is asking. That’s okay too. Tell your therapist.
You want to explore a different focus or concern.
Your therapist can shift directions, but only if they know what you need from them. Most therapists truly welcome this kind of feedback. It helps them do their job better and builds trust by modelling healthy communication.
How to Give Feedback to Your Therapist (Without the Awkwardness)
Here are some tips for talking to your therapist about issues.
Use “I” statements.
Try:
- “I felt overwhelmed in our last session.”
- “I think I need more guidance in our work together.”
Be clear about your needs.
Try:
- “Can we slow down a bit?”
- “Can we focus more on coping strategies?”
Share what is working too.
This ensures your therapist understands what to continue and what to adjust. An example of what is working can be “I understand my emotions more but I don’t know what to do about it now.”
Bring it up early.
Small concerns are easier to address before they become big ones.
If you’re nervous, you can even email your therapist beforehand or bring a note. Feedback isn’t a confrontation. It’s part of the therapeutic process.
Signs It Might Be Time to Submit a Complaint
While everyday concerns can be resolved through open communication, some situations involve ethical, professional, or safety concerns that go beyond simple feedback.
You may need to consider a formal complaint if any of the following occur:
Your therapist crosses a boundary.
Examples include:
- Becoming overly personal
- Sharing excess details about their own life
- Inviting you to socialize or meet outside therapy
There is discrimination or harmful behaviour.
If you feel judged, shamed, dismissed, or treated unfairly based on identity, background, or lived experience, this is not appropriate.
Your therapist breaches confidentiality.
Unless required by law (e.g., safety risk), your private information must be protected.
You experience unprofessional conduct.
This can include chronic lateness, cancelling repeatedly without notice, or messaging you inappropriately outside of scheduled sessions.
Your therapist practices outside their scope.
For example, offering medical advice they are not trained or licensed to provide.
You feel unsafe.
If something feels deeply wrong or uncomfortable, trust your instincts. You do not need proof to raise a concern.
How to Decide: Feedback or Complaint?
Here is a simple way to check in with yourself:
Feedback is appropriate when:
- The issue is about preference or style
- You believe your therapist would be open to adjusting
- You feel safe to do so
- The therapeutic approach just isn’t working for you
A complaint is appropriate when:
- There was harm, boundary crossing, or misconduct
- You felt unsafe, exploited, or discriminated against
- The behaviour violates ethical or professional standards
- You have addressed the concern and nothing has changed
Think of it this way: Feedback helps improve the relationship and is especially useful when you want to continue working with your therapist. Complaints, on the other hand, address violations of safety and professionalism.
How to Submit a Complaint (If You Decide It’s the Right Step)
This will vary depending on your province, clinic, and the therapist’s regulatory body.
1. Tell your clinician directly, or, if you feel comfortable, through email.
2. Contact the Clinical Supervisor found on your clinician’s profile (if publicly available).
3. Email or call the Clinic Director or the owner of your clinician’s clinic.
4. Submit your complaint through an online complaint submission form (if applicable), or through a regulatory body such as the CRPO or OCSWSSW (in Ontario) if relevant.
At our clinic, we have an online complaint submission form for clients specifically seeing Student Clinicians, which includes an option to submit complaints anonymously.
You don’t need permission to do this. You don’t even need to tell your therapist. The priority is your safety, dignity, and well-being.
Remember that therapy is a collaborative space and your comfort is central to the work. You deserve a therapeutic relationship where you feel respected, safe, and empowered.
If something feels off, say it. A good therapist will listen.
If something feels unsafe, report it. Your safety and well-being come first.
Whether you choose to provide feedback or submit a complaint, you are advocating for yourself. And that is a powerful part of healing.